Friday, April 16, 2010
Quick one
So just thought I would try this as a journal. Today was weird, a crazy roller coaster of ups and downs. I didn't have much if any energy, but so many ridiculous people in my life helped me through the day. I am scared out of my mind about my trip. I looked and my 2nd week there are 60 people in the group. That's just crazy. But I had a great time today. Playing some good Frisbee gold, felt so good to play good for once. Then had a dinner "date" not go as planned but still ok. (just a friend and talk date). But then to a crazy pirate party, although I was Peter Pan:) But still a ton of fun, with some friends I am very jealous of their closeness, and glad when I get the chance to sneak in and be part of the group. But then some good friends got me to play some Signs and Signals for 3 hours. All after I put some funny posters up for student senate. I might get in trouble for a couple of them, but hope not. But yeah, then scared about summer. Didn't do so good on a civ test, and worried I might not make it to my actual senior year. If I can just get through this semester without an F I will be able to graduate with like 2 degrees, and maybe 2 minors. But not I'm exhausted. Took my sword out, and my dagger, eye patch off, and hat put away. Now time for Peter Pan to go to bed. No Wendy to read me a story. But sadly its his own fault for not wanting to grow up. Cause once he does, he gets married has kids and the the movie Hook comes out.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
CCM...!!??!?!
So I like Christian music. It makes me happy, and think of God when otherwise I wouldn't be. But I have noticed lately that songs I have heard alot just go in one ear and out the other. I was on a baseball trip to Goshen when I figured this out. Sitting 2 seats behind our coach I was nearly crying while listening to some songs in the perfect order. "Broken" by Lifehouse, "Learning to Breathe" by Switchfoot, "Jealous Kind", and "Lesser Things" by Jars of Clay, "Soon I Will be Done With the Troubles of the World" by DC*B, and finally, "We Are Not as Strong as We Think We Are" by Rich Mullins. Here are some good stuff from some of them. I might get off subject too much and not make it through all, but if you ever feel like putting a good playlist together for some deep thinking, I'd suggest these.
"Broken" is a very underrated song. Lifehouse is known to me as that band who plays Christ/Girlfriend music. But if you look deep in this one at all you pick out a ton. "I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing With a broken heart that's still beating In the pain there is healing In your name I find meaning". This bring out alot, but most obviously the last two lines. Through pain, there is healing. Which from personal examples I can say that God uses pain to teach us things all the time. Not because he doesn't love us, but the opposite, he loves us enough to put us through something to make us stronger. And in your name I find meaning. The name of Christ is used so often in the Bible. But in takes on such a deep meaning. It means one with. As is we are in him, in his will, in his love, one with Christ. Thats why when is says if we ask for something in His name, then we shall receive it, not because they are magic words, but if we are truly understanding what we are saying, and truly in him, then it is already in his will to do for us what we are asking. But the real reason thing song is on top of my playlist, is at the 4 minute mark, the part of the song where the singer just kinda lets loose and re-sings parts of the chorus over and over again. Here he sings I'm holding on, I'm still holding, I'm barely holding on to you. This just gave me a moment to reflect on my ridiculous life. I have nothing figured out. My world is practically falling apart around me. School is getting worse by the week, i realize most of my friendships aren't what they should be, my job outlooks don't look financially stable, i feel my church is going to kick me out the next sunday I miss, and I'm just waiting to do something that will make a whole group of HU friends dislike me for something else, cause i've already lost 2 groups of friends. So it makes me stop and think. I'm barely hanging on, but to what, to God through all of this. He is still there in the midst of the chaos, and that my friends is what can bring tears of joy to my eyes.
Next is :learning to Breathe". "That I'm learning to breathe I'm learning to crawl I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall", is some awesome lyrics for this moment, completely realizing that you need to rely on God, and then thinking about how i need to re-learn how to do it. That him and him alone can brea my fall. I can't do anything that will make him mad at me, no matter how I screw up next, He will be right there to break my fall. "Hello, good morning, how ya been? Yesterday left my head kicked in I never thought I could fall like that Never knew that I could hurt this bad". Yesterday left my head kicked in, why yes, yes it did, and tomorrow doesn't look that promising either. And why no, I really didn't think I could hurt this bad. I mean life sucks from time to time, but man, all at once like this...not cool. But then coming full circle (and to show that I'm not horribly depressed), "that I say that I need You This is the way That I say I love You This is the way That I say I'm Yours". Even in the despair we can still give our best for God. which is awesome, cause that's all he asks, is for our best, for our whole-hearted devotion. Isn't he great!!!!
Next some sweet Jars of Clay. "Sought the company of fools instead of friends", i mean who am I hanging out with and why? for some fun, or for a purpose to bring Him glory and honor, usually the first sadly. "I;d rather feel the pain all too familiar, then be broken by a lover I don't understand". Who hasn't had a love go wrong, well sorry you won't understand this one, but for the rest of us we just keep doing the same thing over and over again, making small changes, but getting hurt in all the same ways. A lot of the songs points to things that we are putting in front of God, and he has his love of a jealous kind. "I chose the gallows to the aisle" why do we keep trying to put things in our hearts where God belongs. I have felt the best and closest to God when I have a girlfriend or some sort of girl that is pushing me to be a better person. And then when they leave me, I lose a lot of my relationship with God. So he's jealous, and I need to not put other things in that spot of my heart.
"Lesser Things" just reminds me that He is the God of the lesser things. That all the things in my life need to be uplifting to him. That every little thing is under God's reign. Every rock, bug, molecule, everything is put there by God. Not that I want to treat everything like it is God, I don't even treat my Bible that nicely, but just that if he is God of everything, then I need to treat Him like that. He is not just the God of Sunday mornings, or worship times, but of every moment of everyday.
"SIWBDWTTOTW" is exactly what the title says. just a good little remind that these troubles are only temporary, and we will be going home to live with God, and oh what a glorious day that will be.
the Rich Mullins is just some good stuff. I can truly say that I am not as strong as I think I am. I keep trying to tell myself hey you can stop this, or do good in this situation. But I fall flat. "I can't even keep these thoughts of you from passing by" Just easily think about God, and then move from thinking of Him back to our real world. "with these our Hells and our Heavens so few inches apart" I think points to how we are thinking creatures. Just inches from the good thoughts, are the bad ones. I also like the line "if you make me laugh i know i can make you like me, cause when i laugh i can be alot of fun". It just reminds me to try and smile, and enjoy life with people. Cause its through relationships that we can grow closest to God. Reciprocating self shout out to KJ :).
So that my rant, congrats if you made it this far, let me know and I'll buy you a candy bar or something. Maybe even make you cookies if you want. Hope it makes sense, and one warning however. Christian music is a good tool, but without scripture we are nothing. Focus on scripture, and then listen to music to bring out scripture. If you catch yourself reading scripture and saying, hey that in that song, read more scripture, less music. The people who wrote the song got it from scripture, and thats the way its designed to be.
"Broken" is a very underrated song. Lifehouse is known to me as that band who plays Christ/Girlfriend music. But if you look deep in this one at all you pick out a ton. "I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing With a broken heart that's still beating In the pain there is healing In your name I find meaning". This bring out alot, but most obviously the last two lines. Through pain, there is healing. Which from personal examples I can say that God uses pain to teach us things all the time. Not because he doesn't love us, but the opposite, he loves us enough to put us through something to make us stronger. And in your name I find meaning. The name of Christ is used so often in the Bible. But in takes on such a deep meaning. It means one with. As is we are in him, in his will, in his love, one with Christ. Thats why when is says if we ask for something in His name, then we shall receive it, not because they are magic words, but if we are truly understanding what we are saying, and truly in him, then it is already in his will to do for us what we are asking. But the real reason thing song is on top of my playlist, is at the 4 minute mark, the part of the song where the singer just kinda lets loose and re-sings parts of the chorus over and over again. Here he sings I'm holding on, I'm still holding, I'm barely holding on to you. This just gave me a moment to reflect on my ridiculous life. I have nothing figured out. My world is practically falling apart around me. School is getting worse by the week, i realize most of my friendships aren't what they should be, my job outlooks don't look financially stable, i feel my church is going to kick me out the next sunday I miss, and I'm just waiting to do something that will make a whole group of HU friends dislike me for something else, cause i've already lost 2 groups of friends. So it makes me stop and think. I'm barely hanging on, but to what, to God through all of this. He is still there in the midst of the chaos, and that my friends is what can bring tears of joy to my eyes.
Next is :learning to Breathe". "That I'm learning to breathe I'm learning to crawl I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall", is some awesome lyrics for this moment, completely realizing that you need to rely on God, and then thinking about how i need to re-learn how to do it. That him and him alone can brea my fall. I can't do anything that will make him mad at me, no matter how I screw up next, He will be right there to break my fall. "Hello, good morning, how ya been? Yesterday left my head kicked in I never thought I could fall like that Never knew that I could hurt this bad". Yesterday left my head kicked in, why yes, yes it did, and tomorrow doesn't look that promising either. And why no, I really didn't think I could hurt this bad. I mean life sucks from time to time, but man, all at once like this...not cool. But then coming full circle (and to show that I'm not horribly depressed), "that I say that I need You This is the way That I say I love You This is the way That I say I'm Yours". Even in the despair we can still give our best for God. which is awesome, cause that's all he asks, is for our best, for our whole-hearted devotion. Isn't he great!!!!
Next some sweet Jars of Clay. "Sought the company of fools instead of friends", i mean who am I hanging out with and why? for some fun, or for a purpose to bring Him glory and honor, usually the first sadly. "I;d rather feel the pain all too familiar, then be broken by a lover I don't understand". Who hasn't had a love go wrong, well sorry you won't understand this one, but for the rest of us we just keep doing the same thing over and over again, making small changes, but getting hurt in all the same ways. A lot of the songs points to things that we are putting in front of God, and he has his love of a jealous kind. "I chose the gallows to the aisle" why do we keep trying to put things in our hearts where God belongs. I have felt the best and closest to God when I have a girlfriend or some sort of girl that is pushing me to be a better person. And then when they leave me, I lose a lot of my relationship with God. So he's jealous, and I need to not put other things in that spot of my heart.
"Lesser Things" just reminds me that He is the God of the lesser things. That all the things in my life need to be uplifting to him. That every little thing is under God's reign. Every rock, bug, molecule, everything is put there by God. Not that I want to treat everything like it is God, I don't even treat my Bible that nicely, but just that if he is God of everything, then I need to treat Him like that. He is not just the God of Sunday mornings, or worship times, but of every moment of everyday.
"SIWBDWTTOTW" is exactly what the title says. just a good little remind that these troubles are only temporary, and we will be going home to live with God, and oh what a glorious day that will be.
the Rich Mullins is just some good stuff. I can truly say that I am not as strong as I think I am. I keep trying to tell myself hey you can stop this, or do good in this situation. But I fall flat. "I can't even keep these thoughts of you from passing by" Just easily think about God, and then move from thinking of Him back to our real world. "with these our Hells and our Heavens so few inches apart" I think points to how we are thinking creatures. Just inches from the good thoughts, are the bad ones. I also like the line "if you make me laugh i know i can make you like me, cause when i laugh i can be alot of fun". It just reminds me to try and smile, and enjoy life with people. Cause its through relationships that we can grow closest to God. Reciprocating self shout out to KJ :).
So that my rant, congrats if you made it this far, let me know and I'll buy you a candy bar or something. Maybe even make you cookies if you want. Hope it makes sense, and one warning however. Christian music is a good tool, but without scripture we are nothing. Focus on scripture, and then listen to music to bring out scripture. If you catch yourself reading scripture and saying, hey that in that song, read more scripture, less music. The people who wrote the song got it from scripture, and thats the way its designed to be.
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