Oh, how I love your law!

While reading C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity I came upon a familiar thought. That Christianity is the simplest most complex thing I have ever tried to understand. Even trying to understand it is confusing, because I know that I will never fully understand it, and this is not suppose to deter me from giving up. Lewis says that real things are not simple. He uses a table as an example. The table to us is just wood and screws, but to a chemist who can break it down into it's molecular structure realizes how complex that table actually is.
Matthew 22:36 is when Jesus says the greatest commandments. They seem so simple at first. To love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself. But when you stop and really look at these, it is easy to see that all of the Laws of the Prophets hang on these two laws.
In order to truly love God with our hearts, soul, and minds; then those aspects of our lives (and even our strength form Deuteronomy) need to be used to their fullest to love God. If that is our main goal, our chief end, then we will search the Bible for it's truth, then live as it commands. We will be able to see the law as David did when he wrote so many of the Psalms, like 119:97 says, "Oh, how I love your Law! I meditate on it all day long." And this is just one example of the love of God's law we should have.
But the best and most confusing part is that God doesn't want us to live by the law, because it's the law. He wants us to live by it soly because we love Him. We don't have to worry about following every single law. But our focus should be on God, and seeking and loving Him. Then following the Law will come secondary. It is there to guide us into a deeper relationship with God, not force us into a deeper relationship with God.
However, the problem is when people stop seeking God. They stick with milk when there is solid food right in front of them. Ignorance is not bliss. Yet your conscious won't feel so bad when you don't understand your not following God's law, but at the same time your not following God's law. Lewis talks about a child who says a prayer. It is a simple prayer, but there is much more to it. If we remain like a child in this instance and never understand the meaning of the prayer then we are a waste. But if we develop our understanding, how much deeper the prayer then becomes, and then deeper our relationship with God becomes.
"Oh, how I love your law!"

Watch the world I use to love, fall to dust and blow away

So I just got done with my training for my missions trip. It was an amazing few days, with some of the most amazing people I've ever met. The college students blew me away. These kids have so much love for God, and just spending the few days I had was absolutely amazing. I've never gotten to know anyone so fast in my life. Everything seemed easier when I was surrounded by such amazing people. I read all the time, had deep meaningful discussions, and prayed a ton (and was even complimented on my singing). These kids also helped me see myself. I'm with them. I was part of the group that got to know each other. Threw boundaries out the window, and focused on building relationships worthy of being called Christians. The Bible tells us that they will know we are Christians by our love. And this group helped me see that.
I can't wait for this trip. I get to spend my entire summer being known for my love. I hope and pray that I will be one with Christ more and more, and by the end of my trip, I can say that I watched the world I use to love, fall to dust and blow away. Because I am new IN God. I hope to live so counter-culturally, and continually seek after Him, as Romans 12:1-2 says, and then know His good, pleasing and perfect will in my life. That He would let me see with His eyes my world, and that I will reflect His love in all that I do, and for those around me. I still have no idea what to do after (if) I graduate next year. So many things make getting in a youth ministry look good, even more seem to pull me towards grad school if possible to work in student development (sorry Steve for not ever visiting Talyor with you), and other things look good for serving as a missionary. I just can't see past the end of my nose, but I just hope I am following after God, and that he will work in me, and make me His.
I love being a servant leader, but I hate being assigned the servant role, but oh the amazingness of God giving us what we need to best serve Him, and not what we want to best make our lives feel better. I am in a largely servant role for my trip, and at first it hurt the pride, but I realized that this way I get to better work with the kids that will be there all summer, as well as be closer with the teens that come to help. This fits what God had called me for, more than getting to know the leaders and staff to be in control. Not sure about some of my humbling experiences lately (and there have been a ton), but this one I can see. Thanks God gor giving me an easy one.

Copy cat

So I realized I haven't written anything in a while, and my dad mentioned the other day he likes reading these (shout out to a reader, oh and Megan got some cookies for saying she read all of that long one). But I cheated on you blog, sorry, but I made a note on facebook. A ridiculous friend, ridiculous in all the attributes I look for in a friend, had a status that impacted my thinking a few days later, and then I just wrote it, but wanted to re-visit it now.
It has to do with doing what's expected. I am a Christian, and as such I feel at times expected to do things. My friend's status said something like this, "Having a hard time, I know God is with me so please no comments like that" (bad paraphrasing, it was about a month ago I think, sorry to person's status it was). But it just hit me (a week after I read it) that even at a Christian college we do things that are expected. We sing in chapel, we hug, we say hi to everyone, and most importantly it is our job to show sympathy to anyone having a bad day Go ahead, get some tears going and sit on the mall and see how many people just pass by. That sympathy comes in the form of, well God's love is everlasting, His peace passes our understanding... (To some, and to me this does sound kind of harsh, and I apologize, but if we can go beyond this for a minute) But why do we say these things. To make the person feel better, but they've almost certainly heard it all before. Or are we just Christians that do what's expected of us, or are we really showing the love of God to others.
The Lifehouse song "Trying" says, "Well I haven't memorized all the cute things to say, but I'm working on it. Maybe I'll master this art form someday. If I quote all the lines off the top of my head, would you believe that I fully understand all these things I've read". Is this what we are doing? Are we just memorizing cute things to say, and when to say them. Turning everyone, and their problems into cookie cutter one liners. Share a little person experience to show empathy, and then throw a Bible verse in to show God cares, and send them on their way. Today I gave up spending the day with a really good friend because I felt I should spend time with some people I play softball with in an attempt to build Godly relationships. But I skipped out on my friend. Was it because that is what is expected of me, should I always put building relationships to bring people closer to God in front of my own desires. This was the first time it was tested to this degree in me, cause my friend is leaving in August and not sure how many time I will see them again, and I want to build a long lasting friendship, but with skipping on a graduation party to play softball really doesn't scream long lasting friendship. But I told some my teammates, that I was a Sr. ministry major, and that I'm only a sub because I'm leaving for a mission trip soon. Just got to plant a little seed to open up for conversation in the weeks to come. Was this what I'm suppose to do as a Christian? Or what God wants me to do as a follower of His Son.
That was what I'm trying to get at. This is very round about way of answering that question. Because I want to be the good Christian who does what's expected, or I'm seeking God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Oh please God let it be the latter.