Life

So, I have been reading some of my friends blogs (sorry guys that I didn't read a ton of them while you were gone on prime, I did read a few from time to time though). But now that I am reading them, I am realizing that I haven't really talked about life. More of just a few theological things going on in my mind. Which it's my blog and I can do what I want, but those are kind of boring, not that this isn't, especially 3 nights in a row. So the big thing on my mind lately has been repetitiveness (and yes I spell checked that word). I just worry that this semester will be like the last one, and the one before that. I start off getting all my homework done, and those extra reading assignments done. I start relationships that I want to grow into more. But by the fourth week it always seems, that I already have my maximum absences for classes, I'm calculating what I need to turn in to at least pull off a C, and none of the relationships get past just casual friends that you can laugh with when they are around.

BUT, and I caps locked that for a reason...

But this semester could be different. I've already finished a book. A bunch of Prime friends are back on campus. And I have Black Eyed Peas stuck in my head almost every day. "Tonight's gonna be a good good night, I got a feeling".

So, this is the last time I want to think about semesters past, and oh there are a lot of past semesters... I'm gonna make my cookies, have my friends over, get my homework done, make it to class, maybe even get a youth ministry job. But Amanda you asked "what are you going to do about being 'that guy'". Well this is it. I'm gonna pray to God, look to Him to guide me, and give me the confidence to get up, do the things He has given me to love, and then go to bed.

On a lighter more joyous note

So I noticed my first post was title "Lol", but then was really serious. So, I thought I would write about something joyous.

Ever since I took a class on C.S. Lewis I have been enamored by "joy". The concept of joy is that it makes us happy. But there is a joy that come from God. This "joy" is felt when I am in a way in tune with God. I feel close to him, and there is this happiness that comes over me. But once I take my focus off of what is bringing me so close to God, be it a song, or a Bible verse, or even a train of thought, and try and focus on that 'joy' oh the joy that it is, the joy quickly fades as quickly as it came. If you can't tell I love that joy, and very thankful for God each time I feel it, but also deeply saddened by its disappearing. There is another part to this that I worry I will fall into, and that is if I am doing something I think is for God, and I don't feel this awesome joyous feeling then either I or the thing I am doing to try and be in tune with God is not something He finds worthy. But this shouldn't be the case. God does not have a reward system that we are to understand. Anyone who claims to fully understand God, is someone I will probably laugh at.
I had a joyous moment today. Last night I was looking at a good friends blog, cause she has been back in the U.S. for a few months now, and she is a really good friend. But the way she talked about being overseas, and the work she did, with and for people, really made me think that it is very much a worthwhile experience to try and have. Se was very clear and it was easy to see how her heart is very much still in Ireland, and God has used her experience to make her a new person, and obviously a more God-like person. I hate to say I am jealous of her, but thats what it is. So I looked up some possibilities on the internet, only to have an e-mail sent to me by our school looking for people to go on mission trips over the summer. I mean I haven't fully decided that I'm gonna go, but they are on campus in a few weeks, and I am going to have a good conversation with them. And this is all the more reason for me to get a passport.

When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
(How he loves us, DC*B)

LOL

So I am blogging. Thanks Amanda.
But this being my first one I should say I'm not that great of a guy, but what makes me great is God. He fills me with this desire to be better. Not necessarily a better person, but in a better deeper relationship with Him, who gave me this desire. I do struggle a lot (and I mean alot) with being a better person. I want the nice house, the job security, and to have my dept paid off. I tell myself that its so I would be free to do what God want for me. But in reality I would be simply putting God in this box. 'I can serve you and bring you glory, as long as it doesn't cost me too much, and I still have the respect of those around me.' Being a senior (but only a junior) at Huntington only makes this worse. I love the campus, and know a ton of amazing people on it. But I just know them. Very few do I know deep enough for them to do anything more than just think of me as that cool youth ministry major guy who seems to know everyone (and put his gum on the podium in Ek).
This is the conversation between Amanda and myself on facebook. It's obviously why I'm here.
Me: Bobby is daring to dream
Amanda: dare to go to bed
M: lol, i tried that. was thinking too much. then looked up some stuff, and now am dreaming of being "that guy"
A:..who the heck is "that guy"?
M:the guy that gets his homework done, reads (and finishes) good books, has time with God, has time for God, treats people he barely knows like old friends, has so deep of relationships that someone can see right through me...literally loves God with all his heart, mind, and sole, and loves his neighbor as himself..
A:That's beautiful, Bobby, I like that a lot. :) I wanna be that guy too. Let's do it!