So God made us with these finite bodies, and I seem to like being in mine, and I like you being in yours... There in lies a problem. Death sucks. A girl on my mission trip this week just found out her uncle who she is close to passed away today, a day before his 60 birthday. And a week after her grandma passed away. This after a few weeks ago another girl found out her best friend's mom has cancer, and last year on my trip to Atlanta right before coming a student passed away. It makes me wonder how God doesn't protect those who are serving Him. I mean I don't want super powers it anything just for doing a job serving in missions, but it would be nice if I could focus on loving people, and not have to worry about that silly death and pain thing. I know we are suppose to have a peace that passes understanding, and that we shouldn't be afraid of death and we should be happy resting in God's plan, but death sucks.
I've been fairly lucky in my life. I feel like I'm up to bat and have an 0-2 count and just keep hitting foul balls just to keep going. Cause no one that close to me has passed away. I had an amazing man who helped shape my life just pass away in the fall, and an amazing friend pass away a week before she graduated high school, and my cousin's grandpa, but other than that I've only been to a few funerals in my life. But seeing this hurt on those around me who have to go through the loss of a loved one makes it so difficult to see that peace and God's plan. I don't ever cry, but funerals get me. I even cried during the Incredibles when Mr incredible didn't want his wife to help fight because he wasn't strong enough to lose her again. The thought of being separated and not being able to enjoy the joy of that person and the whole where that relationship was is just so tough. I feel for those people who have losses so many that they have a callous in a way, that I pray and plea with God that I will never have to go through that pain of loss enough for that. But I worry about when I finally strike out and someone really close to me passes away. I worry I'm not strong enough cause even thinking about it makes me angry and upset. I don't even like breaking up with a girlfriend cause they typically are gone from my life afterwards. Losing someone so close to me might just push me a little farther. Maybe God is protecting my fragile heart, a verse says something about God not giving us any temptation we can't get through, maybe He knows I can't hey through this. Is be ok with that, but yet am fearful of when it will eventually fall apart on me.
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